The Frontal Lobe of the brain - It regulates decision making, problem solving, control of purposeful behaviors, consciousnesses and emotions. It is also one of the four major divisions of the cerebral cortex.
People describe it as:
-Our emotional Control Center
-"Home of our personality"
Right Side:
-Controls non verbal activites
Left Side:
-Controls language and related movement
Division of the Frontal Lobes:
-Prefontal Cortex- personality expression, planning of complex cognitive behaviors
-Premotor and Motor Area- nerves that control voluntary muscle movement
_________________________________________________________________________________
I've been reading a lot recently and I find it kind of interesting that many of the books have focused on how we perceive people. Our minds like to sort things into categories, right? And we as humans judge people and sort them based on how we think they are based on dress, attitude, where they live etc...And despite the fact that we may really truly think we know someone to the core, like a friend or relative, there is a good chance that we don't. I'm not really sure how to explain what I mean other than to say that don't just assume you know someone because you hang out with them occasionally. They may be a completely different person. And don't expect them to be anyone else but them selves, because often we create an image in our minds of who they should be. And its wrong to do that. Don't compare people, because there is no comparison.
DFTBA
-Laura
Sources of Information:
http://www.neuroskills.com/brain-injury/frontal-lobes.php
http://science-education.nih.gov/supplements/nih2/addiction/activities/lesson1_brainparts.htm
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Monday, December 26, 2011
Waiting For the End - Linkin Park
Not a band I listen to often. Or at all really.
Every time I hear it I go back to one night.
We're driving down the street, past a school or possibly a church sign and I was singing along. He was too. I had a sudden feeling that he wanted me to stop. So I did. I watched a building go by, the yellow street lights dimmed by the blacked windows. We parked.
We walked through that town, past shops and talked about apartments. Looking into windows of various stores, walking some more, admiring the court house. I remember asking him about one of my friends, but I did't really care about his response. I knew my view of her, and it was as if I was trying to show my self I was capable of my own thought process. We walked and walked and walked. A cool alleyway here, an interesting view of the moon there...
Why did I stop singing in the car?
I felt like I was taking something that was his.
Like I was intruding on his life.
Evidently he thought so too.
I don't think about this often but upon listening to covers by two very talented young men, I found this song and I started thinking about...everything tied to this. It's not that important to me anymore, but it pops up occasionally. And sometimes I wish I had the courage to talk to him one last time. Not about this, but about everything (except this.) I miss having a person to go to, to be able to express ideas and thoughts to. But life happens, people separate and time goes on.
Its actually kind of funny. My family and I went to WalMart today to return my sister's gift and exchange it for something else. When I got out of the car I thought about the possibility of seeing a person of interest (not to pursue, but literally someone who looked interesting.) I kept my head down but of course to my misfortune I look up and there he is. Plaid and all doing that awkward smile wave thing, where he is obviously just being polite. I hate that. So anyway my mom was like "Why was he so shy/awkward towards us?" and I basically laughed out loud. I seriously just wish that I could go and give it a better ending. Not the relationship, that wasn't too bad but the friendship. That was the ugly part.
Hate it.
-Laura
PS-Worst Part? It was my fault.
Every time I hear it I go back to one night.
We're driving down the street, past a school or possibly a church sign and I was singing along. He was too. I had a sudden feeling that he wanted me to stop. So I did. I watched a building go by, the yellow street lights dimmed by the blacked windows. We parked.
We walked through that town, past shops and talked about apartments. Looking into windows of various stores, walking some more, admiring the court house. I remember asking him about one of my friends, but I did't really care about his response. I knew my view of her, and it was as if I was trying to show my self I was capable of my own thought process. We walked and walked and walked. A cool alleyway here, an interesting view of the moon there...
Why did I stop singing in the car?
I felt like I was taking something that was his.
Like I was intruding on his life.
Evidently he thought so too.
I don't think about this often but upon listening to covers by two very talented young men, I found this song and I started thinking about...everything tied to this. It's not that important to me anymore, but it pops up occasionally. And sometimes I wish I had the courage to talk to him one last time. Not about this, but about everything (except this.) I miss having a person to go to, to be able to express ideas and thoughts to. But life happens, people separate and time goes on.
Its actually kind of funny. My family and I went to WalMart today to return my sister's gift and exchange it for something else. When I got out of the car I thought about the possibility of seeing a person of interest (not to pursue, but literally someone who looked interesting.) I kept my head down but of course to my misfortune I look up and there he is. Plaid and all doing that awkward smile wave thing, where he is obviously just being polite. I hate that. So anyway my mom was like "Why was he so shy/awkward towards us?" and I basically laughed out loud. I seriously just wish that I could go and give it a better ending. Not the relationship, that wasn't too bad but the friendship. That was the ugly part.
Hate it.
-Laura
PS-Worst Part? It was my fault.
Tracing Doubt
Its so odd to think that our minds can process so much. Have you ever thought about that? Or how even when just a bit of information left out can change our entire view on a situation...I really do want to know how the brain works, so for the next few weeks I will be doing research on different parts of the brain. This is completely out of context as to what I was going to post about but I guess it found it's place.
Anyway. Goodness. Sometimes I wonder "Will any of this matter in the end?" Will my words actually have an effect on people? Because sometimes I feel like I'm screaming but no one can hear me. I will be sitting somewhere and say something relevant to the situation and people will just continue on with the conversation as if my mouth had never opened. I always secretly hope that at least one person heard me, just so I don't feel so invisible so at least then I know that I'm not a silent voice.
I am a very frequent reader. I'm not sure if I have posted this on this blog yet, but I have a feeling I make up for my nonevent-full life by reading a bunch of stories of other peoples event full lives. Most of the people don't even exist. In all truth my life isn't even nonevent-full. Maybe it's just to escape into a more... likable world? If that makes sense. Art and reading are my true routes of escape from reality. (Well that and the mindless watching of YouTube at obscene hours of the night...morning?)
I feel like such a bum. I mean I get to complain and contemplate about life and how the brain works while people around the world are starving. Something is very wrong with this picture. In America, we worry about being obese. I mean really?! How sad is that? We worry about being too fat while people are starving, not only in other countries, but in our very own streets. Gah!
I don't really remember where I was going with this....bananas.
DFTBA.
-Laura
PS- Check out some awesome people! --> http://www.youtube.com/user/justinrobinett/videos
Anyway. Goodness. Sometimes I wonder "Will any of this matter in the end?" Will my words actually have an effect on people? Because sometimes I feel like I'm screaming but no one can hear me. I will be sitting somewhere and say something relevant to the situation and people will just continue on with the conversation as if my mouth had never opened. I always secretly hope that at least one person heard me, just so I don't feel so invisible so at least then I know that I'm not a silent voice.
I am a very frequent reader. I'm not sure if I have posted this on this blog yet, but I have a feeling I make up for my nonevent-full life by reading a bunch of stories of other peoples event full lives. Most of the people don't even exist. In all truth my life isn't even nonevent-full. Maybe it's just to escape into a more... likable world? If that makes sense. Art and reading are my true routes of escape from reality. (Well that and the mindless watching of YouTube at obscene hours of the night...morning?)
I feel like such a bum. I mean I get to complain and contemplate about life and how the brain works while people around the world are starving. Something is very wrong with this picture. In America, we worry about being obese. I mean really?! How sad is that? We worry about being too fat while people are starving, not only in other countries, but in our very own streets. Gah!
I don't really remember where I was going with this....bananas.
DFTBA.
-Laura
PS- Check out some awesome people! --> http://www.youtube.com/user/justinrobinett/videos
Friday, December 23, 2011
Christmas Time Is Here...
Christmas time is here
Happiness and cheer
Fun for all that children call
Their favorite time of the year
Snowflakes in the air
Carols everywhere
Olden times and ancient rhymes
Of love and dreams to share
Sleigh bells in the air
Beauty everywhere
Yuletide by the fireside
And joyful memories there
Christmas time is here
We'll be drawing near
Oh, that we could always see
Such spirit through the year
Oh, that we could always see
Such spirit through the year...
-A Charlie Brown Christmas-
Happiness and cheer
Fun for all that children call
Their favorite time of the year
Snowflakes in the air
Carols everywhere
Olden times and ancient rhymes
Of love and dreams to share
Sleigh bells in the air
Beauty everywhere
Yuletide by the fireside
And joyful memories there
Christmas time is here
We'll be drawing near
Oh, that we could always see
Such spirit through the year
Oh, that we could always see
Such spirit through the year...
-A Charlie Brown Christmas-
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Tab For A Cause and The Decrease Of World Suck
Hello, well instead of my usually self centered rant, I thought I would take today and introduce you to something called "Tab For A Cause"/
This organization was made to support several causes around the world. It was created by some pretty awesome Nerdfighters =) Anyway, to quote one of the creators "Some friends and I started this site for people who are looking to give back to the world but might not have the time or money to do so. We raise money through advertising revenue, so it's completely free, and it takes about a minute to get involved."
This organization was made to support several causes around the world. It was created by some pretty awesome Nerdfighters =) Anyway, to quote one of the creators "Some friends and I started this site for people who are looking to give back to the world but might not have the time or money to do so. We raise money through advertising revenue, so it's completely free, and it takes about a minute to get involved."
So if you can't tell, Its super easy to get involved and help others. I personally think it's amazing.
I haven't really mentioned my Nerdfighter-ness before but I suppose this would be a good introduction.
Hello! My name is Laura and I'm a hardcore Nerdfighter. (haha...)
What is Nerdfighteria?
Hmmm....How to explain....
HEY! LOOK! A NIFTY VIDEO!!! =D
That made my life a whole easier.
Mwuhahaha.
DFTBA =)
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
I Feel Like....
Throwing Up
Yelling at People
Quitting my Job
Sleeping
Doing Nothing.
Ah, the dreadful days that people can hardly bear: The Days Before Christmas Break.
This year is particularly bad since some of my teachers are like: "Lets give you your exams before break!!" And a little voice inside of me is gradually getting louder saying : noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Gah. I hope we get a very bad ice storm and school is canceled. Not just because the roads are icy, but because it gets so cold that the school's pipes literally just exploded.
I was reading through some of my old posts and notes on facebook (thanks to the new "timeline" thing) and I had said: "One of my greatest fears is losing people" And I guess I have changed quite a bit in 1-2 years time because now I accept the fact that it happens. In fact, I am encouraging that to happen in my life right now. I really don't like my group of friends at the moment but I figure that in a few months they will all be gone and I won't have to deal with them any more.
Surprisingly enough, the people who I thought were gonna change stayed the same. Not completely the same obviously, since situations are "ever changing", but the core person is still there and intact. I can't say the same for some of my other friends.
I don't know. So far in the year of 2011 I have learned this:
-People suck
-People change
-Sleep is a treat
-Life continues on
-coffee can be pretty tasty
and
-As much as you like a job in the beginning, people will ruin it
And with realizing this I know that I am also a person and I am far from perfect. Sometimes though, just sometimes, I wish I could go relive the past and cherish it for a little bit longer.
Yelling at People
Quitting my Job
Sleeping
Doing Nothing.
Ah, the dreadful days that people can hardly bear: The Days Before Christmas Break.
This year is particularly bad since some of my teachers are like: "Lets give you your exams before break!!" And a little voice inside of me is gradually getting louder saying : noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Gah. I hope we get a very bad ice storm and school is canceled. Not just because the roads are icy, but because it gets so cold that the school's pipes literally just exploded.
I was reading through some of my old posts and notes on facebook (thanks to the new "timeline" thing) and I had said: "One of my greatest fears is losing people" And I guess I have changed quite a bit in 1-2 years time because now I accept the fact that it happens. In fact, I am encouraging that to happen in my life right now. I really don't like my group of friends at the moment but I figure that in a few months they will all be gone and I won't have to deal with them any more.
Surprisingly enough, the people who I thought were gonna change stayed the same. Not completely the same obviously, since situations are "ever changing", but the core person is still there and intact. I can't say the same for some of my other friends.
I don't know. So far in the year of 2011 I have learned this:
-People suck
-People change
-Sleep is a treat
-Life continues on
-coffee can be pretty tasty
and
-As much as you like a job in the beginning, people will ruin it
And with realizing this I know that I am also a person and I am far from perfect. Sometimes though, just sometimes, I wish I could go relive the past and cherish it for a little bit longer.
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Dear (Good, Non-Troll) Sherry,
I don't know if you remember, but on the last day of work you told me "Don't take crap from anyone" and not thinking, I thought you meant not to steal...yeah not the brightest moment. So you explained to me not to let people push me around and give me grief. Well that's exactly what I plan on doing. (Not doing?) I'm standing up for my-self, and not letting people act like they can do anything to me and have me be okay with it.
This includes Sherry M. (the "other" Sherry...lets call her The Ruin-er of Lives. T.R.O.L...Troll. ) So Troll has been...not pleasant in the least bit and everyone is getting ticked off. Including me. Along with obnoxious friends who lie all the time, I'm not in the mood to put up with shit at work.
So I guess I'm just saying, I'm taking your advice and finally doing something to defend myself. Thank you for being one of the best people I've met so far.
-Laura
-Laura
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Express
I want someone to express my ideas to. This is driving me crazy. And it needs to be someone who knows what I mean in a sense, and who I'm comfortable with. Gah. >.< That person doesn't exist in my life yet.
"Fall In Love When You're Ready, Not When You're Lonely"
Hello.
Have you ever thought about joining the U.S Military?
I have. I don't know if I have what it takes. I actually highly doubt that I do have what it takes.
I do want to go to college but I feel like I need to do something to repay the world. (And you're probably like, "How will joining the Military help you repay the world?") They don't just kill people and get killed. Our soldiers help others. They fight for the rights that we have and that most of us take for granted.
As I said before, I'm not much of a Military person, but possibly something like the Peace Corp or YWAM kind of person. Many may be aware of the first one, but not the second. (There are many more programs than just these two obviously.) YWAM is:
"Youth With A Mission is an international volunteer movement of Christians from many backgrounds, cultures and Christian traditions, dedicated to serving Jesus throughout the world. Also known as YWAM (pronounced "WHY-wham"), our purpose is simply to know God and to make Him known.
Have you ever thought about joining the U.S Military?
I have. I don't know if I have what it takes. I actually highly doubt that I do have what it takes.
I do want to go to college but I feel like I need to do something to repay the world. (And you're probably like, "How will joining the Military help you repay the world?") They don't just kill people and get killed. Our soldiers help others. They fight for the rights that we have and that most of us take for granted.
As I said before, I'm not much of a Military person, but possibly something like the Peace Corp or YWAM kind of person. Many may be aware of the first one, but not the second. (There are many more programs than just these two obviously.) YWAM is:
"Youth With A Mission is an international volunteer movement of Christians from many backgrounds, cultures and Christian traditions, dedicated to serving Jesus throughout the world. Also known as YWAM (pronounced "WHY-wham"), our purpose is simply to know God and to make Him known.
When YWAM began in 1960, our main focus was giving young people opportunities to demonstrate the love of Jesus to the whole world, according to His command in Mark 16:15. Today, we still focus on youth, but we have members (known as “YWAMers”) of almost every age and many of our short-term efforts have grown into long-term endeavors that have impacted lives and nations.
YWAM has a decentralized structure that encourages new vision and the exploration of new ways to change lives through training, convey the message of the gospel and care for those in need. We are currently operating in more than 1000 locations in over 180 countries, with a staff of over 18,000."
But yes...I dunno. If I were going to go into the Military I guess I would go into the Air Force, since this is the only one I have actually looked into. But all together I guess I just really feel the need to go help others, not even try to force religion down their throat, but just to help them and see their lives improve.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Lets Gets Real Here/ Tiredness
Lately I've been feeling a mixture of emotions.
I went to a friends house yesterday. I new friend really, I talked to her sometimes but never really had a "real" conversation with her. Before going I was nervous just because I'm not a fan of making friendships. I used to really want friends, and not to be alone but all I do now is run away from people. I'm tired of getting caught up in every part of drama in their life. Is there just a friendship that I can have that only requires having fun and not over thinking for one night? I love that people are able to talk to me about things, but I am so so tired and sometimes I would like to get a word in.
Another thing is, why don't people like other people? Is there really a fine between liking someone but at the same time hating to be around them? I dunno. -_-
Church. For some reason I have been dreading going to church. This is what you should know about me: I am Christian girl and have been since I was very little. Recently I've been getting closer to God and everything was fine but one day, I just stopped talking to him. Every nerve in my body resisted against him and I stopped going to church. I still went to youth group but anywhere near him made me feel sick. I'm better now, I have started talking to him again but its still not that...awesome. =/ I have church tomorrow and I'm afraid I'll get the same response my sister did every time she came back "Oh where were you?! blah blah blah blah blah pray more blah" I just wanna be like "GO AWAY". I apologized to my youth leader for not showing up for Sunday school and he just looked me straight in the eye with a smart-ass look and said "Don't apologize to me." AGH.
What I have been doing instead of thinking about everything: Hiding in books.
I'm just tired. Physically, emotionally and spiritually.
So this is my life right now. Sorry about the rant.
-Laura
I went to a friends house yesterday. I new friend really, I talked to her sometimes but never really had a "real" conversation with her. Before going I was nervous just because I'm not a fan of making friendships. I used to really want friends, and not to be alone but all I do now is run away from people. I'm tired of getting caught up in every part of drama in their life. Is there just a friendship that I can have that only requires having fun and not over thinking for one night? I love that people are able to talk to me about things, but I am so so tired and sometimes I would like to get a word in.
Another thing is, why don't people like other people? Is there really a fine between liking someone but at the same time hating to be around them? I dunno. -_-
Church. For some reason I have been dreading going to church. This is what you should know about me: I am Christian girl and have been since I was very little. Recently I've been getting closer to God and everything was fine but one day, I just stopped talking to him. Every nerve in my body resisted against him and I stopped going to church. I still went to youth group but anywhere near him made me feel sick. I'm better now, I have started talking to him again but its still not that...awesome. =/ I have church tomorrow and I'm afraid I'll get the same response my sister did every time she came back "Oh where were you?! blah blah blah blah blah pray more blah" I just wanna be like "GO AWAY". I apologized to my youth leader for not showing up for Sunday school and he just looked me straight in the eye with a smart-ass look and said "Don't apologize to me." AGH.
What I have been doing instead of thinking about everything: Hiding in books.
I'm just tired. Physically, emotionally and spiritually.
So this is my life right now. Sorry about the rant.
-Laura
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Friday, November 25, 2011
I Didn't Go
கேएकהгодинуઆરშ(ن)
Oh great goddess,
that only in your eyes can see.
You steal great things from others,
and twist them with your ability.
You make their belongings your own,
but in the end nothing will be shown.
All that you own will fade away,
your glory and glamour will not stay.
People are seeing though your glass mask,
and you look away only to find a void
You like to think you are a philosopher,
but it doesn't take long for the others to get annoyed.
The mask is starting to crack,
and you realize that you're having an anxiety attack.
Only its happened so often people do not care,
and you are now faintly aware.
You hide your face and turn to run,
finally aware of what you've become.
But its too late and the people recognize,
that you're only a human truly known by no one.
______________________________________
-Laura
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Thanksgiving
I am thankful for my sister.
I am thankful for the way she and i can sit in silence or sit and talk for hours.
I am thankful for the way that I see her in a different light now, that I don't try and make my self fit into a mold.
I am thankful that she opens my eyes to different cultures, ideas and thoughts.
I am thankful that she sees people, and knows how to react in situations
I am thankful that she doesn't judge people and that she can relate to how I feel about life at times.
I am thankful that she listens.
I am thankful that she talks.
I am thankful for everything she is.
I am thankful for God.
I am thankful for my faith in what I believe.
I am thankful for the fact that even though I have an open mind I still find myself turning to him for answers.
I am thankful for the fact that so much can change in a years time.
I am thankful that I have changed.
I am thankful that I can see now, not distracted by what I see with my eyes but what I can see and feel with my heart.
I am thankful that I learned to forgive.
I am thankful that I know no one is perfect and that life is ever changing.
I am thankful that I am learning to look at others eyes to see their hearts
I am thankful for my mom.
I am thankful of how her emotions show in her eyes
I am thankful that she is here with us
I am thankful that despite all she has been through she still pushes onward
I am thankful that she was been strong
I am thankful for her anger
I am thankful for her kindness
I am thankful also for everything she is.
I am thankful for my eldest sister.
I am thankful for her stubborn attitude
I am thankful for her love
I am thankful that through the years we have learned to see each-other as sisters
I am thankful for that night
I am thankful also for everything she is
I am thankful I have a Dad
I am thankful that despite him not actually being here, that he tries.
I am thankful that I get to seem him at least once every 2 or 3 months
I am thankful that I still have a biological father
I am thankful for my grandmas
I am thankful that they have always been so sweet
I am thankful for the times they taught me some of the best lessons in life
I am thankful for the old toys they let me play with when I was 5
I am thankful for all their stories from when they were young
I am absolutely thankful for everything they are
I am thankful that I knew my grandpa
I am thankful that I saw him as amazing
I am thankful he had a pet squirrel and fed it Pistachios
I am thankful for the doll that he gave me that her wrote a note on the tummy of
I am thankful that I went on a walk with him before he died
I am thankful for all the memories that he has left with me
I am thankful for a lot of other things too
I am thankful for my Uncle Jeff and his beautifully chaotic family
I am thankful for all the people I knew in the past
I am thankful for life
I am thankful for all of those whom I will meet in my future
I am thankful for rain
I am thankful for love
I am thankful for everything that I have ever experienced.
Happy Holidays everyone
-Laura
I am thankful for the way she and i can sit in silence or sit and talk for hours.
I am thankful for the way that I see her in a different light now, that I don't try and make my self fit into a mold.
I am thankful that she opens my eyes to different cultures, ideas and thoughts.
I am thankful that she sees people, and knows how to react in situations
I am thankful that she doesn't judge people and that she can relate to how I feel about life at times.
I am thankful that she listens.
I am thankful that she talks.
I am thankful for everything she is.
I am thankful for God.
I am thankful for my faith in what I believe.
I am thankful for the fact that even though I have an open mind I still find myself turning to him for answers.
I am thankful for the fact that so much can change in a years time.
I am thankful that I have changed.
I am thankful that I can see now, not distracted by what I see with my eyes but what I can see and feel with my heart.
I am thankful that I learned to forgive.
I am thankful that I know no one is perfect and that life is ever changing.
I am thankful that I am learning to look at others eyes to see their hearts
I am thankful for my mom.
I am thankful of how her emotions show in her eyes
I am thankful that she is here with us
I am thankful that despite all she has been through she still pushes onward
I am thankful that she was been strong
I am thankful for her anger
I am thankful for her kindness
I am thankful also for everything she is.
I am thankful for my eldest sister.
I am thankful for her stubborn attitude
I am thankful for her love
I am thankful that through the years we have learned to see each-other as sisters
I am thankful for that night
I am thankful also for everything she is
I am thankful I have a Dad
I am thankful that despite him not actually being here, that he tries.
I am thankful that I get to seem him at least once every 2 or 3 months
I am thankful that I still have a biological father
I am thankful for my grandmas
I am thankful that they have always been so sweet
I am thankful for the times they taught me some of the best lessons in life
I am thankful for the old toys they let me play with when I was 5
I am thankful for all their stories from when they were young
I am absolutely thankful for everything they are
I am thankful that I knew my grandpa
I am thankful that I saw him as amazing
I am thankful he had a pet squirrel and fed it Pistachios
I am thankful for the doll that he gave me that her wrote a note on the tummy of
I am thankful that I went on a walk with him before he died
I am thankful for all the memories that he has left with me
I am thankful for a lot of other things too
I am thankful for my Uncle Jeff and his beautifully chaotic family
I am thankful for all the people I knew in the past
I am thankful for life
I am thankful for all of those whom I will meet in my future
I am thankful for rain
I am thankful for love
I am thankful for everything that I have ever experienced.
Happy Holidays everyone
-Laura
Monday, November 21, 2011
Toxic Nasty
Dude. Everything that I eat that is remotely unhealthy has been tasting like toxic nasty. I suppose this is a good thing though. And my aches and pains go away when I exercise. Hmmm, dear body, are you telling me something? xD Just in time for the holidays too. haha
Friday, November 18, 2011
43.75%
On an average school day, I spend ___________% of my day at __________:
16.67% at work
29.17% at school
12.5 % doing homework
29.17 % sleeping (including naps)
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*
I realize that if you actually take the time and count them up, it doesn't equal 100% (but who would sit there and do that? Really.) This is due to my failure at math (most likely) I counted up the hours I went by and everything...ah well. Its not really that important. I was trying to make a point really.
I feel like I'm wasting my life.
I spend all this time at places where I don't want to be, and I know "That to be able to get somewhere, you have to start at the bottom." or "To be able to follow your dream you need school." I'm aware of all this, and believe me, I am the last person you would see dropping out of school.
Its just that I feel like everything is a routine. How am I living? How am I, in any way, giving use to this short amount of time on Earth to actually live and do something? The saying that is said too often but rarely understood is "Life is too short."
Just something to think about I guess.
Farewell,
Laura
16.67% at work
29.17% at school
12.5 % doing homework
29.17 % sleeping (including naps)
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*
I realize that if you actually take the time and count them up, it doesn't equal 100% (but who would sit there and do that? Really.) This is due to my failure at math (most likely) I counted up the hours I went by and everything...ah well. Its not really that important. I was trying to make a point really.
I feel like I'm wasting my life.
I spend all this time at places where I don't want to be, and I know "That to be able to get somewhere, you have to start at the bottom." or "To be able to follow your dream you need school." I'm aware of all this, and believe me, I am the last person you would see dropping out of school.
Its just that I feel like everything is a routine. How am I living? How am I, in any way, giving use to this short amount of time on Earth to actually live and do something? The saying that is said too often but rarely understood is "Life is too short."
Just something to think about I guess.
Farewell,
Laura
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
The Nightmare in Ceramics
So today, I was in Ceramics and I was fine all first period and then I felt really sick. Like the kind of sick where you feel like throwing up, only not, and all you can do is sit through it until it becomes unbearable. So you go home to be alone in your painful sickness.
On any normal day this would have been pretty bad but today I have a test in chemistry, learning some new things in Math and a presentation in Western Civ. This is bad. Very bad. I did a lot of work for that project so I really hope she doesn't take off points due to the fact that I won't be there to present...
On a lighter note, I get to spend time with my dog and kitten today. =D
Hope your day is going well, and if its not, eat some ice cream and nutella.
Farewell,
Laura
On any normal day this would have been pretty bad but today I have a test in chemistry, learning some new things in Math and a presentation in Western Civ. This is bad. Very bad. I did a lot of work for that project so I really hope she doesn't take off points due to the fact that I won't be there to present...
On a lighter note, I get to spend time with my dog and kitten today. =D
Hope your day is going well, and if its not, eat some ice cream and nutella.
Farewell,
Laura
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
The Love of Naps
Ahhh so many things to cover >.<
Well, I guess lately everything has been kind of crazy. A lot of school projects, more hours at work, more art projects (I separate these from my school "projects") and all this means many late night study sessions for me.
And that means a very exhausted and stressed out Laura.
Aaandd despite the fact I just started writing this Ima go watch Glee.
Farewell,
Laura
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Real.
I've been reading this book and it has made me think about a lot. Does anyone realize how much we type? How much we neglect the talent of writing down our thoughts, keeping them, creating them? Creating. A poem, a song, a story. We can create, we have the freedom to do so, the freedom that not everyone has. It comes down to this, why is it so much easier for us to sit on a computer and write out thoughts of ours to the whole world, that it is to sit down on the top of a hill in the forest and write our thoughts on paper? Why don't we cherish what we have?
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
Hallways
When I subtract every person's opinion and view from my life,
what do I have?
I picture this hallway,
Its long and dark and on the floor of that hallway are my interests.
They are written in white, which stands out against coco brown.
I'm standing there, closing my eyes, trying to view what is ahead for me.
What do I want to do?
The thought of traveling and taking pictures has always appealed to me,
Maybe I'll be a vet,
Or possibly an art teacher,
Another option would be counseling,
Maybe I should go into music and be in an orchestra,
Its quite possible I'm mean to stay home and be a mom, the classic woman.
The hallways states the simple things:
Animals
Children
Reading
Solving Problems
Photography
Drawing
Painting
Dreaming
Creating
Writing
Playing The Flute
Directing
Singing
Making Plans
Learning about Art History
So many things. So many.
I don't even know what colleges to look into, who to hang out with, who to like,
let alone how to start my life.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Fix You.
I don't know what to do. I hate this stupid roller coaster that I'm forced to go onto. The one where life is so great and when I look forward all I see is opportunity, and then all the sudden I top the hill and realize that it was just a trick. I follow the track down down down in to the darkness and all I feel is apathy. I manage to cry but nothing helps. The only two questions are; when will I get out of this hell hole? and how bad is the next "plunge" going to be?
Uncomfortable.
I've never been so unsure and uncomfortable about a situation before. I've been close, but not this close. I don't know if its the newness of it to me, or maybe the fact that we're both a little awkward, but I feel sick about it and I feel like it isn't right. I want to be with someone, but I don't think I mean it when I say I like him. I feel like I'm forcing myself to say that instead of "He's nice and I'm lonely." Its wrong all over and I feel horrible about it because I may or may have not lead him on to think I liked him, and that may or may have not creeped him out.
I don't know how to explain this unless you can relate to the feeling of something just isn't right. Or maybe I'm just afraid of getting into this stuff again...No I don't think so. This just isn't right.
I don't know how to explain this unless you can relate to the feeling of something just isn't right. Or maybe I'm just afraid of getting into this stuff again...No I don't think so. This just isn't right.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
Procrastination
I've been watching "Charlieissocoollike" for almost two or three years now. He's still awesome. xD Bahaha every time I procrastinate I watch this video just for the humor of it.
Break Down
I hate breaking down. I just can't deal with it. I have these emotions that just get bottled up inside. Thoughts, feelings of guilt and stress and its just TOO MUCH.
I hate papers and how teachers think they can dictate how we write them. I went through years of not having to do a rough draft or an outline and now when the teacher announces "Rough drafts are due tomorrow" I automatically shut down into this panic state. I will start my homework at 5 and I will do every assignment except that one so its usually around 9 pm when I get around to it and I just have a break down. Always. I don't even know what to do with myself right now.
____________________________________________
The worst part about writing a rough draft for a paper, is thinking about the actual process of doing it. But when it comes to simply writing it down, its not all that bad. Just sayin. Future self: Don't stress yourself out about something so simple.
I hate papers and how teachers think they can dictate how we write them. I went through years of not having to do a rough draft or an outline and now when the teacher announces "Rough drafts are due tomorrow" I automatically shut down into this panic state. I will start my homework at 5 and I will do every assignment except that one so its usually around 9 pm when I get around to it and I just have a break down. Always. I don't even know what to do with myself right now.
____________________________________________
The worst part about writing a rough draft for a paper, is thinking about the actual process of doing it. But when it comes to simply writing it down, its not all that bad. Just sayin. Future self: Don't stress yourself out about something so simple.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Have you ever heard a song and just wanted to dance to it?
(I do apologize for so many youtube video posts.)
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Hold my hand,
Put your head against mine,
Synchronize our breathing,
And read my mind.
See the things I will not say,
Hear the prayers I will not pray,
Lead me through the darkest nights
And even though the brightest of days.
Guide me through the hurt and the pain,
Through the confusion of what to blame.
I cannot go forward on my own,
so teach me how to be shown.
I know I don't have to be so strong,
thankful, because the walls around me wont last for long.
Put your head against mine,
Synchronize our breathing,
And read my mind.
See the things I will not say,
Hear the prayers I will not pray,
Lead me through the darkest nights
And even though the brightest of days.
Guide me through the hurt and the pain,
Through the confusion of what to blame.
I cannot go forward on my own,
so teach me how to be shown.
I know I don't have to be so strong,
thankful, because the walls around me wont last for long.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
9/11
All throughout the night I have been looking at pictures and reading information about the 9/11 memorial site, learning basically all I can about it. My initial question was, "Are the water falls/ reflection pools where the original buildings were?" And in case you were curious too, the answer I found was: "The pools sit within the footprints where the Twin Towers once stood." - 9/11 Memorial: About the Memorial
Among my research, I found out that they are building new World Trade Centers. This wasn't such a surprise to me. What was a surprise was that 1 WTC is planned to be 104 stories high. I guess it just kind of put a fear in me that something will happen again...but I am strongly hoping for the sake of our nation and the many lives of people, that nothing will occur.
As well as researching the memorial, I've been sitting here trying to bring back any emotion I felt that day. I was only in first grade at the time so I was pretty confused, worried, and a bit afraid. I remember feeling the need to be home with my mom and sisters just so I knew they were alright. My mom was at work still so I sat in our living room watching and re-watching the planes crashing, the buildings burning, and people falling. And now when I look back on that day, I realize I didn't see how serious the situation was. I would see all this and, in terror, I would try to make some kind of reassurance to myself that they were alright or that it really wasn't happening. But no. These people were very real, very much alive, and then all at once...gone. So my general feeling on that day was sadness mixed with apathy. Sadness at the thought of all those people who had died, and how their families would hurt for years to come. Everything put together was just a lot for my 6 or 7 year old brain to handle so I ended up trying to block it out. There was one thing I faintly remember doing...I prayed. I didn't know what was going on or who those people were, but I did know how to pray, and so I prayed that God would protect them all.
But this is just my story. One that doesn't even compare to the horror that so many lived through that day and the years after...I'm not sure how many people will read this, but if you would like to share your remembrance of that day or of people who were effected by it, please feel free to do so in the comments, or leave a link to your blog.
God Bless.
Among my research, I found out that they are building new World Trade Centers. This wasn't such a surprise to me. What was a surprise was that 1 WTC is planned to be 104 stories high. I guess it just kind of put a fear in me that something will happen again...but I am strongly hoping for the sake of our nation and the many lives of people, that nothing will occur.
As well as researching the memorial, I've been sitting here trying to bring back any emotion I felt that day. I was only in first grade at the time so I was pretty confused, worried, and a bit afraid. I remember feeling the need to be home with my mom and sisters just so I knew they were alright. My mom was at work still so I sat in our living room watching and re-watching the planes crashing, the buildings burning, and people falling. And now when I look back on that day, I realize I didn't see how serious the situation was. I would see all this and, in terror, I would try to make some kind of reassurance to myself that they were alright or that it really wasn't happening. But no. These people were very real, very much alive, and then all at once...gone. So my general feeling on that day was sadness mixed with apathy. Sadness at the thought of all those people who had died, and how their families would hurt for years to come. Everything put together was just a lot for my 6 or 7 year old brain to handle so I ended up trying to block it out. There was one thing I faintly remember doing...I prayed. I didn't know what was going on or who those people were, but I did know how to pray, and so I prayed that God would protect them all.
But this is just my story. One that doesn't even compare to the horror that so many lived through that day and the years after...I'm not sure how many people will read this, but if you would like to share your remembrance of that day or of people who were effected by it, please feel free to do so in the comments, or leave a link to your blog.
God Bless.
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