Lately I've been feeling a mixture of emotions.
I went to a friends house yesterday. I new friend really, I talked to her sometimes but never really had a "real" conversation with her. Before going I was nervous just because I'm not a fan of making friendships. I used to really want friends, and not to be alone but all I do now is run away from people. I'm tired of getting caught up in every part of drama in their life. Is there just a friendship that I can have that only requires having fun and not over thinking for one night? I love that people are able to talk to me about things, but I am so so tired and sometimes I would like to get a word in.
Another thing is, why don't people like other people? Is there really a fine between liking someone but at the same time hating to be around them? I dunno. -_-
Church. For some reason I have been dreading going to church. This is what you should know about me: I am Christian girl and have been since I was very little. Recently I've been getting closer to God and everything was fine but one day, I just stopped talking to him. Every nerve in my body resisted against him and I stopped going to church. I still went to youth group but anywhere near him made me feel sick. I'm better now, I have started talking to him again but its still not that...awesome. =/ I have church tomorrow and I'm afraid I'll get the same response my sister did every time she came back "Oh where were you?! blah blah blah blah blah pray more blah" I just wanna be like "GO AWAY". I apologized to my youth leader for not showing up for Sunday school and he just looked me straight in the eye with a smart-ass look and said "Don't apologize to me." AGH.
What I have been doing instead of thinking about everything: Hiding in books.
I'm just tired. Physically, emotionally and spiritually.
So this is my life right now. Sorry about the rant.
-Laura
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