Time to Take a Breath and Settle Down

This week I have been ridiculously emotional. My friends are seniors this year and despite the fact that I know we have summer, I keep thinking about next year and how I won't have them around everyday. I feel like I took the time I had with them for granted. Even though we had our rough moments as friends, I still love them to death and they have basically guided me through high school. Rachel and Dezi (sometimes Spencer) were there when I liked some guy and I didn't know what to do. Called me when I was crying over the breakup, hugged me when I needed cheering up and came to me for advice about life. Tanner was an inspiration to me my sophomore year. Enough to let me realize how much I really do love art and how to accept myself as I am instead of who others want me to be. Nick is a creative genius who plays the piano and is just an amazing person. Kane was the guy who took me to homecoming and prom, treating me well and acting like a gentleman. He plays the guitar and is still somewhat of a question mark in my head. Where is Kane going? Spencer has lead me musically and pushed me hard enough to get me to where I am today: a field commander.

Spencer is so much more than a friend to me. He's like that sassy gay friend, the brother that you can talk to, that best friend you can go on midnight walks with, that person you used to know, the brother you hate, that guy you used to hate or your sisters exboyfriend. Gosh. =/ This is not okay.

Stupid Glee, making me face the reality of this.

I guess what I'm most dreading is next year. The year I'm a Senior.
A list of things that make me want to be a freshman again:
1.) My Senior friends.
2.) I haven't taken the ACT yet.
3.) I don't know what I want to do with my life.
4.) I'm terrified of picking the wrong college.
5.) Work
6.) Having the responsibility of being a field commander.


I have a dream...kind of. I want to work for National Geographic as a photojournalist. Which means I should go to school for photojournalism, correct? But I love painting, and working with clay and being with kids- should I really be a teacher? Can I major in photojournalism and minor in both Fine Arts and Ceramics? But both of those hobbies/ careers are super expensive...so I should use the money from being a photojounalist to feed these to make more money by selling them so I can pay rent and buy food?

This is my mind. Only everything you read is happening all at once, and I'm also supposed to be studying for exams. (If I can't pass these exams then I won't need to worry about any of this, will I?)

Hope you're a little bit more thought organized than I am.
-Laura