A Mouthful

Lately I've had a mouthful to say. I don't even know what brought it on but I feel like I need to be heard for once.

I feel like I'm giving off an intense vibe all the time...I either am too quiet to be heard or I get too tired of not being heard that I end up yelling and shocking the crap out of people. But Its not just being physically heard. I feel like I'm just talking to a group of brick walls with one person who may hear me but doesn't even care or doesn't want to care enough to talk to me about it. The brick walls have slowly come alive and every so often they'll be like "I'm sorry, What were you saying Laura?"

I can say one thing though. Despite my "yelling" via blog post at the world, I know that a few people understand why I want to be a photojournalist and I would like to say thank you for noticing it pre-blog. I'm not even sure if they read this, and if they do it is kind of...not weird but not expected. And also thank you for not being a brick wall and attempting to hear me out. Things weren't the best last year but no need to re-cap. Thanks.

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Off- topic...well it would be if there was a topic but you know.

Friends and Boys. Friends who like boys. Friends who think boys like them. The lonesome bookworm.

I was going to ask some of my friends to hang out today but I realized something: Literally every friend I have is in a relationship or they have love interests that they're usually hanging out with.

I am proud to be the kind of girl that doesn't need a guy to be happy (because many of my girl-friends do need guys to be happy and its kind of sad.) But anyway, I'm proud to be that way. I do, however, get slightly lonely and wish I had someone to talk to, or have someone who talks to me, or someone to cuddle with, to complain about school with, to socialize with etc. It feels weird to feel this way xD. Ah if only there were more awesome Nerdfighting guys in my town. Unfortunately the only one that I know lives in NC and I am not romantically attacked to him.

And now I am put in the spotlight as a total hypocrite. I said just the other day that there are more important things than (list unimportant things here) and I am now talking about how lonely I am.... loneliness compared to the starving children in Africa? Nothing.

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Speaking of being a hypocrite...I mean this may just be a way of making myself feel better (not about the blog post thing, but of something in my past.) But wouldn't you agree that everyone is a hypocrite at some point in their life? It's been bothering me for a while...well really just today as I was thinking about it. And now that I think about it I cant even remember why that person called me a hypocrite. Son of a Puppy. (That is indeed a quote from a book...but I will continue to use it just because it makes me smile.)

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Among the various thoughts that float through my mind, I realized everyone tries to get us to live a different way. Teachers, parents, sisters. It's weird to have that realization because when you try to get help from somebody, you have to understand that everyone has a different way of living life. "Live life to the fullest" "Avoid drama" "Enjoy highschool" "You should try harder" "You're doing great" etc. I don't know, yet again, if this makes any sense at all.

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Rant- finished. hahaa

Please, if you read this blog at all, leave a comment. (Be kind if you can be.) I would like to know what others think, and if you don't agree feel free to state your opinion.

-Laur (aka) MissLauraLiza

DFTBA

P.S- OH MY GOSH. I GOT A SIGNED COPY OF THE FAULT IN OUR STARS TODAY AND I FREAKED OUT. I am re-reading the book, just because I can. And I probably will do so for the rest of my life. =)