A List of Books 2

Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver

Things and How They Are

Today was a beautiful day. 

It wasn’t hot, or cold and the air was fresh. It was a day to enjoy. 

But what I found was myself turning off my emotions and simply focusing on how nice of a day it was, and how I didn’t give a shit about anything anyone told me. 

I’m told so many things. How this person is doing, what happened last Tuesday, where she is, what he said, what happened in Walmart. So many things that don’t even matter. Just words. And I was sick of it. So for a whole 5 minutes I allowed myself to stop being polite, to stop responding and to stop caring. 

I became one of those people though and I sent a text to a friend, one of which I had been told a lot from. It simply said “Its really nice outside.” 

From this came the information and from the information came the wall. But within a few minutes time I inquired about the information. I set myself up.

I don’t know whats wrong with me, or why I’m writing. But there have been a few things on my mind and I haven’t really written a “post” in a while. 

And in all truth, I think the problem is that I really DO care about what people are saying and…honestly? It just gets emotionally exhausting. 

__________________

My Senior year starts in five days. I’m pretty good at making lists so lets just do that. 

Thoughts (about Senior year):

1.) I have five days to read this book for AP English.

2.) I have five days to have a summer.

3.) I need to become more serious about my photography.*

4.) I just scheduled my ACT and I haven’t even tried to prepare for it yet.

5.) The band’s first football game is only in seven days and I’m the field commander.

6.) I’ve changed.

7.) This is it. 

_________________

* I want to go to school to become a Photojournalist. The thing is I haven’t taken my camera to many places this summer and that, my friends, is the problem with photojournalism. To be able to get the shot in the right moment you need your camera in the right moment. There were so many opportunities for me to get the shots that I wanted, except for the fact that I didn’t have my camera and I’m regretting every one of them.

I feel like I just don’t care enough about photography to be able to say that I want to do it everyday of my life. Its one of the thing where I’ll say I don’t want to do it but then once I pick up my camera and take a day to explore, my love for it is renewed. This might not make sense. 

I rely on my “Program” setting far to often on my camera. I know the basics of how everything works but my technical knowledge of this beautiful machine is lacking.

I know how to manipulate settings and exposure times etc. to take the shot I want but the terminology isn’t in my head.

_________________

I hate the (good) story basket. 

I feel like any story that a person shares, even if its relevant, gets thrown into the story basket.

The other day I was having a moment of appreciating the weather and the world around me. I tried to explain it to a friend and share the awe I was feeling when I got this in reply: “….cool story….*pulls out story basket*” 

WHAT THE HEY?! 

I don’t know, maybe I’m being irrational or something but it just bugs the heck out of me when people use it all the time. Like “Oh hey, anything I say goes into the basket. No one cares? Kaycool, I’ll just go back to being quite again.” 

This ties in with the first part of my post. I guess I just put a lot of time into listening to people, becoming emotionally involved in what they are saying and then when I try to express my thoughts, they’re thrown away. 

_______________

I’m done with my rant and I would say that I’m sorry that I didn’t put much thought into it, and that I’m sorry my words are not beautiful when they’re like this, but I’m really not. I’m not sorry at all. 

Kcoolbye,

-Laura

The Start Of...

Hello all! It's been a while (or it has felt like a while) since I've done an update post. As any reader of this blog knows (if you're new: Welcome! Feel free to check out my past posts.) that I love to make lists. I love making "future" lists to basically do a mental check of what is/ will be going on. So!

Things that are happening now/ soon:
-Band Camp - the last day is tomorrow (Aug 15, 2012) and this will be my last band camp at my high school. I'm field commander this year and I've really missed playing my flute but being in such a leadership position has been an awesome experience (so far).

-School - Starting on the 22nd. Oh my gosh. I feel like I haven't had a summer.

-Cry, The Beloved Country - I have to have this book read by the first day of school and I haven't even started it. The introduction is really boring and I can't seem to look past it and read on.

-Work - I'm still working my pizza shop job, as much as I would love to quit, I need the money (for college, instruments, car repairs or a new car, etc..the list is getting ridiculously large.) They have started giving me a lot more hours, which is a win/loose situation.

-Contacts- I have them, but I'm only wearing them everyday because my glasses are still at the doctor's office.

-College/ ACT/ Senior Year- Holy crap. I don't even want to get into this right now.

And so yupp, these are the things that are surrounding my life at the moment. I might do a better update tomorrow but I just realized I'm really tired. So, good night all.

Mmmbye.
-Laura

Shady

You’re a shady character, good sir

I thought I would get to know you, good sir

But at this time and place, 

It is quite the disgrace, 

That you have some question marks by your name.

You seemed like a jazzy man, good sir

One that followed a plan, good sir

But if you ask me,

You’re barking up the wrong tree,

So hush and listen so you’re not in shame.

Your laugh is darling, good sir

But I wonder who else you’re charming, good sir

You should have known,

That the truth would be shown,

And you now have no other to blame. 

-Laura

This Feeling

Cool autumn days with overcast skies, when the leaves are turned to their burnt oranges and florescent reds.  There's a feeling in the air that is similar to hope, maybe contentment. These are the days in which I take walks. They remind of me precious times and long thoughtful moments in which I was free to be truthful to myself.

The feeling of these walks is similar to the calm moment right before you enter a new experience. The feeling of holding hands with somebody for the first time, when you take a deep breath of air filled with the scent of rain. Its the cloudy fall day you decide to pick apples, your first time riding your bike as a child.  Its the campfire you sat around while singing and telling stories of years past, the moment you find something you love.That sigh filled moment of happiness, like drinking a cup of warm chai tea.  Its all of these feelings put into a simple day, a simple walk.

At first its warm and stirs something within you. Then that feeling grows and spreads throughout your body, leaving you with the trace of a memory that was long forgotten.

It is simply

               lovely.

-Laura

Who Do You Freaking Think You Are?

I know we established that you were an ass  tonight but your kind of taking it to a new level. Let me sell it to you straight. You, are no longer in charge of the band and the fact that you think that its okay to demean the two new field commanders, your girlfriend and friend, is so frustrating.

I quit. Im pretty much just done with you and you know what?
We're going to kick some ass tomorrow.

______________

Thank you to the good sir who let me call you and rant. I really appreciate it.

-Laura

P.S- This post will make no sense so don't even try to understand it. I was upset and started venting on here and then I called a good friend and he let me rant so didn't feel like finishing the story on here. That's all.

College

So it's only a week or two until I start my Senior year in high school and I felt now would be a good time to share my college options with you. I am looking to major in Photojournalism and minor in fine arts, english or music. We'll see how the minor works out. Lists are of course the best things.

Colleges:
1. Ohio University
2. Kent State
3. CCAD

I realize that this is a small list but its
my refined one.